Found And Lost
Marisha Ida Fonseca
6 March 2009, 07:21Ten girls were sitting together, eagerly talking.
“Wasn’t it fun yesterday?”
“Awesome!”
“The movie was good, yaar!”
“ Dev Patel is sooo cute!”
“The birthday cake was just too good. Dutch truffle is my all time favourite”.
No one paid much attention to one girl sitting two benches away. But Crystal was used to that. She kept her eyes on her tiffin box, trying to block out the happy voices that floated across to her. She didn’t enjoy being left out of everything but had she been invited, Crystal would have enjoyed the party even less.
“You should have come yesterday, Tanvi’s birthday party rocked. Why don’t you like parties? You read all the time, you really like books don’t you?” Ankita asked. Ankita had a large following in the class, she had an i-phone and a boyfriend.
“Yes”, said Crystal.
“What books do you like?”
“Oh…all types. I read everything.”
“ Do you like Sidney Sheldon?”
“Umm…yes.”
Crystal had not gone beyond the first chapter of a Sidney Sheldon book. She couldn’t bear them, they were so dirty, talking about sex and breasts and kissing. Crystal had felt like vomiting when she first heard of what happens during sex. These were Bad things, how could you talk about them? But it was no use telling Ankita this, Ankita, whose favourite books were Danielle Steele and Sweet Valley University. Ankita would laugh if she knew Crystal’s favourite books were Little Women and Anne of Green Gables.
“Hey, is your history book complete?” Ankita asked. Ankita usually made friends with Crystal before every exam and forgot about her afterwards. But Crystal was too shy to refuse any of her classmates’ requests. She silently rummaged in her bag and removed the history book.
“Thanks, you’re a real lifesaver, ya. I don’t know how you’re so studious, like, every book complete, you rock.” Ankita did not really think Crystal rocked, but there wasn’t anything else you could say to this female who sat in a corner all day, wore her sash high on her waist and always buttoned the collar of her uniform. Crystal was pretty weird, the only girl in class who didn’t wax her legs, and cried when she got a remark in her diary, but she was pretty sweet and always lent her books.
This was the beginning of Crystal’s usual bursts of popularity. She might wear cotton midi skirts when the rest wore leather minis but her notebooks were always complete. Revathi, Upasna, Amrita, Sanaya, Nidhi, and Varuna, all came to her for notes. Crystal never said no and never made a fuss even when Ankita borrowed her science notebook and returned it with half the cover torn off.
When she was small, Crystal had several friends, all imaginary. She played with them, and won all the games. They would read books and talk about them to each other. Her friends liked the same books, and they would enact scenes from them. Crystal was the leader, she always got to decide what they would play. These imaginary friends were the best she had, much better than her classmates who would laugh at her for not understanding Marathi and always choose her last in the team games because she was the slowest runner. Crystal usually spent her break wandering around by herself, blissfully happy with her imaginary company.
But Mrs. Almeida, her class teacher, had not been happy with this. At the PTA meeting she had told Crystal’s mother that her daughter was too quiet and didn’t have any friends. Mamma came home and told Crystal she must make friends with the other girls. Crystal didn’t want to, but Mamma was firm. “You must be like the others; otherwise people will think there’s something wrong with you.” Crystal didn’t dare to tell Mamma about her imaginary friends- Darrell, Sally, Pat, Isabel, Fatty, Bets, Julian, George (whose real name was Georgina), Elizabeth and Joan, all from Enid Blyton books. For two days, she tried to play with the other girls in the class. But after one humiliating break in which she was the den the entire time for Land and Water, because she was the slowest runner and kept getting out, Crystal left the real world for the imaginary once more. She told Mamma all about the fun she had with Darrell, Sally and company, but exchanged the names for Revathi, Upasna and the other girls in the class. One Friendship Day, she had bought several friendship bands and told Mamma that they were from her classmates.
Crystal was now in Mrs. Das’ class. Mrs. Das prayed very long prayers aloud every morning and every week told children to come to her with their problems. Her former school had given her the award for ‘Best Teacher of the Year’ and she had not got over it. “You are each of you precious to me; I understand each and every one of you. I am your teacher, but I am also your friend. Any time you come to me with whatever worries you, I will listen to you.”
Mrs. Das would usually say “Crystal, don’t be shy” in front of the entire class, when Crystal refused to give answers. Mrs. Das taught Hindi, and Crystal could never ever answer in that subject after Arjun and Nishant had laughed at her when she mixed up ‘padhna’ and ‘padhaana.’ Crystal would still wake up at nights writhing with shame as she heard their jeering laughter. She hated boys, who played in the field during the break and got all dirty and sweaty. They would tease her and pull her rubber band away, while the girls laughed. When the other girls and boys played Truth and Dare together, at least one boy was given the dare of proposing to Crystal.
The two weeks before exams was Crystal’s favourite time of the year. Even her worst tormentors were friendly and kind, in return for her geography or maths notebook. They all told her how wonderful she was, how sweet, how kind, how helpful. Sanaya had even given her a hug, but she was not used to hugging and stiffly put her arm up and hit Sanaya on the chin. Vaibhav, Arjun, Karan, Neeraj, and all the boys who usually made fun of her would borrow her books and crack jokes with her. When Crystal understood what the jokes meant, she managed a smile.
Deepti, who was the class monitor, wanted someone to do the monitor’s jobs for her while she completed her notebooks. Crystal was really convenient and sweet, her books were complete and anyway she just sat during the break and read books from the library. So Crystal collected the class’ books for teachers to correct and would deliver the attendance register at the school office. Mrs. Das found a very willing child to run errands for her. Crystal had nothing particular to do during break and was only to happy to be doing something. Mrs. Das told Crystal she loved her like her own child and patted her on the head. “No, thank you Ma’am”, Crystal blurted out and ran to the toilet and cried with shame. “Such a shy child, but very sweet” Mrs. Das told the rest of the staffroom. “My entire class loves her very much.”
One day, after the usual morning prayer, Mrs. Das said that she had an important announcement to make. She had brought a pile of bookmarks to class and each child would get a bookmark, along with a special title. Deepti was the Most Responsible, Ankita was the Most Creative, Arjun was the Funniest etc. Until….
There was one bookmark left in Mrs. Das’ hand. Everyone knew it was for Crystal, but wondered what it was for. “Most weird” whispered Arjun, and a snicker ran round the class like a wave breaking on a beach. Tears came into Crystal’s eyes. Yesterday, Nishant had asked her if she had seen ‘My Brother Nikhil’. She never watched Bollywood films and had innocently replied “I thought your brother’s name was Nirmal.” The entire class had heard the joke.
“I am giving Crystal the prize for the Most Helpful.”
Suddenly the room seemed all hazy and shimmery. Deepti was saying “Whenever you ask Crystal for help, she’s always there.”
“She’s our saviour” added Upasna.
“Crystal’s never selfish” commented Dheeraj.
Mrs Das smiled a nice big smile at Crystal. “Come here my child”. Crystal went up to her and received two moist kisses on each ear. But she was happy. She never ever dreamt the class liked her so much. They were her friends, after all, they had told Mrs. Das nice things about her. Deepti was so nice and friendly, she always asked Crystal if she had finished the portion for the exams.
Ankita was very sweet to her, always asking her about books and all. She would try to make friends with them. She would never feel bad if they copied the maths answers she had painstakingly worked out and the teacher gave them ‘Very Good’. Nishant had told everyone about ‘My Brother Nikhil’ but that was only a good joke. Nishant was a nice boy. Tomorrow was Deepti’s birthday; she would ask Mamma for some money and buy her a present. Deepti was her friend, her best friend. She smiled at Deepti across the class.
The class was actually nice. Everyone had clapped when she got the bookmark. They were good friends to her. She could be one of them. They would have fun together. Maybe she would go along with Deepti, Upasna, and Sanaya on the Nature Club Summer Camp. She would be joining the same tuition class as Ankita and Arjun next year, but no longer dreaded it.
Darrell, Sally, Pat, Isabel, and the rest applauded her in happy daydreams, but this was REAL and ten times sweeter. For the first time in her life, Crystal felt accepted by a group. Next Friendship Day, she would receive friendship bands from other people and not have to buy them for herself. Ankita gave her friends beautiful friendship bands, with their names carved on tiny beads.
The next day the entire class went to Café Coffee Day to celebrate Deepti’s birthday. Crystal was not invited.
