Happy Valentine's Day
Marisha Ida Fonseca
9 March 2009, 11:20Janice had been sitting in the library for over an hour, with her book open at the same page. She was not studying, even though exams were in a week. Professor Aggie had assured them that they would all pass, which meant that most of them would pass out on seeing the question paper. But who could think of economics when their world was upside down?
That phone call from Ryan last night. “Jan, you’re my best friend. I need your help. You know, I really like Saloni….” Her own voice, replying like a machine “Yes, I understand. Yes, I think she likes you. Yes, you should propose. Tomorrow’s a good time- Valentine’s Day”
It had taken an iron effort to keep calm and sweet, instead of bursting into tears or slamming the phone down. Janice had really liked Ryan. They had been in the same class for one year and had become really good friends. But Janice had been too shy to let Ryan know she was interested in more than friendship. What if he laughs at me? He’s so hot, and I’m rather fat. I was 66 kilos last time. When we went shopping, the size 34 jeans would no longer fit, even when I sucked my tummy in. Do guys really like fat girls? And I’ve got too many pimples. I’d never want to kiss a pimply guy, so a guy would never want to kiss me. If he kissed me on the mouth, I wouldn’t know what to do. And Ryan is one of the most popular guys in college. He plays the guitar for a rock band. If I tell him I like him and he doesn’t want a relationship, he could tell all his friends. They’d all laugh at me. Ryan doesn’t really like me. He just wants my notes because I’m the class topper.
If Ryan had said at any other time that I was his best friend, I’d have been so happy. But he likes Saloni! OK, she’s pretty. But she can’t even speak English properly. She says things like ‘my all clothes’ and ‘please on the fan’. She’ll probably tell Ryan “I luw you”.
Nearly all Janice’s friends had boyfriends. Even Vijaylakshmi, who reeked of coconut oil every alternate day. Vijaylakshmi’s boyfriend wore tight fitting sweaters and pants, and looked like a cheap Bollywood actor. But for the first time, Janice envied Vijaylakshmi.
Everyone else had big plans for today. They had been giggling excitedly for a week, and held eager whispering sessions in class while Janice took down notes for them to photocopy later. They hadn’t meant to leave Janice out, but she had never had a boyfriend so she wouldn’t understand anything they were talking about. Janice was a good girl who never had been kissed and never listened to Eminem.
As soon as lectures were over, they all went off in different directions. No hanging around in the canteen and having tea or Pepsi. Today was too precious to waste. Janice had eaten a solitary vada pav and then gone to the library. It was embarrassing to sit by herself in the canteen; everyone would look at her and ask where her friends were. In the library, she would have some peace and it was ok to sit alone. Valentine’s Day was the loneliest day of the year for Janice. She didn’t even have memories for company.
Janice removed her cell phone from the bag, texted the words “Happy Valentine’s Day. Love Janice” and sent it to all her friends, including Ryan. Then wiped away a tear and resolutely read a paragraph on Price and Markets.
Life isn’t fair. They’ve all gone off and left me. They just care about their own pleasure. I don’t have any real friends. I wish I had the courage to tell Ryan that I liked him. It’s too late now. Why do guys like girls only when they’re slim and pretty? Ryan has just used me. I gave him all my notes for what? Next semester, he won’t get anything. Let him take it from Saloni. She’s on her ipod throughout the lectures. I hate this day, I wish it was over. Tomorrow will be worse, they’ll all be discussing what they did and I won’t have anything to say. They’ll laugh at me again. They’ll bring all the cards and stuff they got. No one gave me anything, except my cousin’s sister sent a forward to me and 100 other people on her contact list.
They’ll all have handwritten cards which they’ll keep in their journals so that their parents won’t see them. It’s wrong to deceive your parents but I don’t care. I don’t even have anything to deceive mine about; Janice is such a good girl, no late night phone calls or sitting on the computer all day. She goes to college only to study not to flirt like others. She’s well brought up.
No guy will ever want to go out with the goody goody class bookworm. That’s what I am. What’s the use of being the topper? I’ll have to have an arranged marriage. What if even that guy doesn’t want to marry me? I’ll have to go into a convent, then everyone will have to stop asking me why I’m single.
“Hi gal, wassup” said Shreya. Shreya had broken up with her sixth boyfriend a week ago and so had nothing to do on Valentine’s Day. She flaunted her electric blue nail polish and gazed insolently at Janice out of heavily mascaraed eyes. Janice wondered why Shreya put so much mascara. It didn’t improve her face and was a waste of mascara.
“Studying? Man, I wish I was like you, Janice. You’re so focused on your studies. Don’t you ever think about guys?”
