Making Decisions
Nimi Kurian
15 June 2009, 07:35“But darling, you know I love you!” said Sujay.
“I know you do…but not enough to make a decision,” muttered Jayanthi. “If you love me prove it!”
“Don’t make me do this,” he said. He was undecided. On one side was the woman he loved. Had loved for almost 10 years. On the other side was his wife and son. How could he leave them? How could he live without Jayanthi?
“My life is such a mess!” he muttered. “What can I do?”
“I love you…very much. But I also need to have a life. I am tired of meeting you like this – one day a month, sometimes just one evening….sometimes once in two months…I can’t live the rest of my life with this kind of uncertainity. I need to know.”
Jayanthi was fed up. Although they lived in the same city they hardly ever met up. And even the time they were together, Sujay was always getting calls from his wife. ‘Where are you?’ ‘When will you be home?’ And if he was later than the specified time, then the calls became more frequent and the questions angrier – ‘Why are you late?’ ‘What’s keeping you?’ ‘How much longer?’
Now after 10 years of going out with him, she had had enough.
“I give you one month to decide. I am not putting pressure on you. You make the choice. And whatever it is I will go with it,” said Jayanthi.
“Have you decided?” asked Sujay. “Have you decided what you want to do?”
“Well…it depends on what you decide. Accordingly I will make my decision. It’s all in your hands. I have to leave now. Let me know,” said Jayanthi as she got up from the sand. She walked away from the sea without looking back. If she had she would have seen Sujay sitting looking out at the sea, looking rather despondent.
“My life is such a mess. What am I to do? How can I balance my work, my home, my love? How can I make a decision?”
A month later, Sujay still had not come to a decision. He did not have to courage to tell his wife that he wanted out. Jayanthi was left with no choice.
Years passed. Jayanthi got married and moved to another town.
She was not too happy in her marriage, but she carried on.
“Well, how can I be? I am in love with someone else. Someone who didn’t love me enough to make a decision that would have benefitted us,” she often thought to herself.
She had cut off all contact with Sujay. There seemed no point in it.
One day, Jayanthi was wheeling her trolley in the supersmarket. She felt someone’s gaze on her, and turning found herself looking at a stranger. She was just about to move away when he walked forward and said, “Hi! Recognise me?”
She had no recollection of who he was. She looked at him but there didn’t seem to be anything familiar about him.
“I am sorry, but I just can’t place you,” she said. “Have we met?”
The stranger laughed. “Don’t tell me I have changed so much. I am Vinod, Sujay’s friend!”
Her eyes widened with surprise.
“My God! I cannot believe it’s you,” she exclaimed. “I can hardly recognise you.”
“How have you been?” he asked. “And whats happening with you”
“We have so much of catching up to do. Are you in a hurry? Shall we just hop across to the coffee shop and chat?” she asked.
So they walked across to the coffee shop. They placed their orders. And then looking at each other they said simultaneously.
“How is Sujay?” she asked.
“Are you in touch with Sujay,” he asked.
They fell silent. After a pause, she said, “No, I have lost touch with Sujay. I deliberately lost touch. I didn’t want to prolong my unhappiness much longer. I just couldn’t bear it…”
“Yes, I understand,” he muttered. “But don’t be harsh with him. He has been through hell. He is very unhappy. His son has finished his engineering and is now working in the U.S. It’s just Sujay and his wife now. And without the son around, all her attention is focussed on Sujay. He cannot go anywhere or do anything without telling her. He has to be home directly from work or he gets hell. He is too tired of making excuses to come out with us. So we just don’t get to meet him anymore. I call him up occasionally. He sounds very unhappy…”
“But is he okay?”
“That’s just it. The last time I called he was in hospital. The stress is killing him.”
“Did you see him?”
Vinod nodded.
“What did he say?”
“He said his life has been one long lie. He thought he was doing the right thing by letting you go…but now, he realises that it was not worth it!”
Beautifully written, as always.
— Vinod Joseph · Jun 15, 20:58 · #
Well written and expressed.
A fiction that sounded so true or was it…..
— Jude · Jun 17, 15:18 · #