SAINT THOMAS (VERSES 29-31)

Mark Traill

15 March 2008, 00:11

Get there early
To the station
There for 9
(Regional variation)
Forgot a pen? So you can
Borrow one
From a serious man
Enquiries queue
Sit and camp
For a piece of paper
As big as a stamp
Name and address
And passport details
Not forgetting the route
Your class
Am I female?
Your reason for visit
The trains you will take
The times they’re expected
The friends you will make
Pray for a girl if you’re a gentleman you see
She’ll queue for the booth by the sign that does read
LADIES AND SENIOR CITIZENS
ORTHOPAEDICALLY HANDICAPPED PERSONS
AND FREEDOM FIGHTERS are welcome this side
As for the saint you may as well hide
Finally my turn
Patience is low
“Train number sir?”
I convey I don’t know
The timetable is Hindi
I lose my place
To a freedom fighter
With a scar on his face
Back in the queue
Who knows the number?
Decipher my ticket
Get on with my summer

“PLATFORM ANNOUNCEMENT”
Said the female voice
Of the multilingual P.A.
Yet another delay?
Already had three
I can take no more
Please let it stop now
With announcement number 4
“THE 7468 BANGALORE
TO SECUNDRABAD TRAIN
WILL BE ON PLATFORM
FIVE SHORTLY”
Chai Chai,
Coffee Coffee
I move into position
Rucksack on one shoulder
“Where is my berth?”
“Carriage F11”
Replied the guard who was older
“Can I have your address please?”
“I do not have one”
He blinks and smiles
And wobbles his head
I sprint to the carriage
To sleep in my bed
For seven hours
And wake in Hyderabad
From a dream I can’t see
Chai chai! Coffee coffee!
Bleary eyes
Hair sticking up
“Yes, I think I will have a cup”
Strap my house to my back
Into a brown sea
Of rickshaw wallas
“OK OK OK…
Please, I am still asleep…
…Yes, OK!
I suppose that sounds cheap…”

“I want to be a Rickshaw driver
It would certainly be nice
Monsoon would keep off from my head
I would charge five times the price
Though fast becoming tired and old
Through forty years of marriage
I’ll love her more with rupees spare
If I could buy a carriage
It pains my legs, I’m bald it’s hot
The bonus is but slim
Allah, Mercy! Please one more fare
So I can be like him –
That is Raj, just look at his shirt!
His English so well spoken
His auto has his aura yes
And look, my wheel is broken
I want to be a rickshaw man
I need it more than paan
With horn as loud as ten of theirs
I would die a happy man”

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